Cupcakes, thanks and ...What?

I lost another pound and a half this past Monday! :)  Consistency is good, right? It's going to take a while to get to where I want to be, but as long as there is progress, I am pleased :)

I was in third &Ninth Deli in Huntington last week, and then again this past week (eating half a turkey sandwich with a fruit cup and some carrots and celery from the kid's menu) when I saw the Paula Vega cupcake counter. Wow! Those things looked amazing!! I survived my first trip there without getting one, but on the second trip, I decided I would be kind and get one for my husband and one for my son. Noah's not a big cake eater, but he does like icing sometimes. I would be lying if I wasn't secretly hoping he would turn it down and then I would be forced to eat it so that it wouldn't be wasted ;)  That's exactly what happened. But then I couldn't bring myself to eat it. I took the thinnest sliver ever just to taste it, and could have smushed it back together and you wouldn't have even been able to tell I did it :)  It was a delicious morsel :) 

In light of that, I decided to make a goal-reward for myself. When I lose 10 percent of my original self, I will allow myself to get a cupcake of my very own and eat every single crumb! I am already thinking about what flavor I want! I'm thinking one with raspberry filling. Yum!! I decided, though, that I should make sure it's10 percent and an additional pound to compensate for the damage the cupcake will do. Including the extra pound, I have 3 more pounds to go. I weigh in again tomorrow and I am hopeful to be a little closer. We'll see... :)

Medicine is going well... Haven't forgotten any this week :)

I have finished day 2 of week 8 in the Couch to 5K program!! I am so close!! It's a nine week program, with 3 days of training each week, so I have 4 more workouts to go!! Yay :) It certainly won't be finished then though. I have so much to do, going longer distances, as right now I should more accurately describe my training success as the Couch to 2 1/2 K program :(  But I'm getting there.

Thanks so much for everyone who has emailed or Facebooked or told me some tips on how to progress in all of this. I was so super discouraged after trying it outside, and your tips helped tremendously. I haven't attempted it again yet, but I will. I must.

One last thing before I go - I was checking email from my Gmail account, and there are ads along the top of the screen, or the bottom of the email, tailored to a topic it thinks I would be interested in. Due to my emails and posts about running, there was one at the bottom that said, no lie, "Runners Diarrhea? We can help!"

Of course I had to Google it to see if it was a for-real problem ... I'm officially scared ...

3 minutes, forgetfulness, and the dress

I tried it. Wednesday I decided to try running outside to see if it was doable. I had hopes it was easier than a treadmill, but was afraid it was harder. I was right. It was torture! I did a 5 minute warm-up walk and then ran for 3 minutes before I had to stop. Any more and neighbors would have found me in need of medical attention right there on their lawn. Three minutes!! On my treadmill I can do 25. What is the difference??

If anyone has a tip or suggestion or thoughts on what might be wrong, please share! I'm a little discouraged about it. Hoping it's just something psychological or because it was cold out, or because I put my left shoe on first instead of my right one... anything fixable. I had, okay still have, high hopes that I will be able to participate in a 5K in March, and I'm pretty sure these things are outside, so I need to improve quickly.

I lost a pound and a half when I weighed in on Monday. YAY for that! I would be lying if I said I wasn't hoping for more. But it's good. It's still progress. There is just so much still to lose. I'm not giving up though. I am moving forward and loving that I am getting closer. I even have downsized into a pair of jeans I put away at Christmas because they were so tight and uncomfortable. Now they fit. Yay again :)

I somehow forgot to take my thyroid  medicine Sunday =(  But the other days were fine, and, after a reminder, I even called to get it refilled (this is where I always have stopped taking it because I forget to get more). I'm sure I'm back on track.

Now to a less serious issue, but a time of honesty. I know my theme word for the year, "Health," is why I am making changes, but as I've said before, the idea of being thinner and fit doesn't sound too crummy. It sounds awesome, actually. In line with that, I have a goal of sorts for the summer.

I haven't worn a dress or skirt in years, not counting the floor-length denim number I have worn about as many times as I can count on one hand. I hate the way my legs look when I am reasonably happy with my weight, so throw on some extra pounds and I'm hiding them. No one will see them.

When I feel the breeze of spring and sunny days become more and more frequent, I silently wish so much that I could put on a cute, knee-length sundress with an adorable pair of sandals and feel, well,  adorable. But I don't. I stick to my long capris or jeans. I really want this summer to be different. I know this probably sounds superficial and unimportant in the grand scheme of things, but I really do want this. So, wish me luck as I keep working at it...

Thanks for reading!
Jen

Getting picked

If you were a good athlete, or maybe even popular as a kid, you might not be able to relate to this - just warning you. But since you're here, you can keep reading :)

When I was a kid, shockingly, I was a terrible athlete. Terrible. I hated the whole thing. I wasn't just lazy and I didn't mind losing. I hated the idea of messing up and letting an entire team down. A team who might actually care about winning. Often I would freeze up and not know what to do next. Add that to the lack of athletic ability, and you can imagine I wasn't the first choice when it came time to pick teams.

But I was also not second, or third, or... you get the idea. Nearly always picked last. My better memories are when there would be one person picked after me. Sorry for their luck, but it made my day much better to know I wasn't dead last.

I wish I could say I knew it wasn't personal, that it didn't bother me, and that it wasn't a big deal. But I can't. It always made me sad to think that I was so terrible that no one wanted me.

Bear with me while I seemingly digress for a moment...

Since I have been running, I have found that it helps me to focus on something other than the time left when the running gets too overwhelming. I realized that when it felt too overwhelming, even the task of thinking things seemed to make it worse. So I would find myself reading the letters on the base of my treadmill just to keep my mind from wandering. The problem is there are only four words on the treadmill, so that didn't take up too much time.

What I finally did was write a passage from the Bible on a piece of paper (with a purple Sharpee - pretty girly things always make things better ;) and read it slowly, focussing on it, while I keep going on my run even when I think I can't.

It's funny how you can read something over and over and get different thoughts and ideas depending on when you read it. I had read these verses for weeks, and just a couple of days ago, a new thought occured to me. Here are the verses (It is the Message version, which I love) found in the book of Isaiah, toward the beginning of chapter 43 -

Don't be afraid, I've redeemed you.
I've called your name. You're mine.
When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you.
When you're in rough waters, you will not go down.
When you're between a rock and a hard place, it won't be a dead end -
Because I am God, your personal God, The Holy of Israel, your Savior.
I paid a huge price for you:
all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in!
That's how much you mean to me!
That's how much I love you!
I'd sell off the whole world to get you back,
trade creation just for you.
So don't be afraid: I'm with you.

Read the second line again...
I've called your name. You're mine.

The God of the universe has picked me and wants me on His team. That makes me smile :)

Diet soda, lemon cake and a 5K

I weighed in on Monday and was ecstatic to see I had lost 3 1/2 pounds this week!!! That brings my total to 12 1/2. I weigh less now than I have in a long while. I have a tremendously long way to go, but it is progress and I am pleased.

Everything else with the diet is going well. Except for the pop thing. I saw this week that drinking diet soda regularly makes a person much more likely to have heart problems. With my family history and my bad cholesterol, I really don't need even one more thing to add to the list. But I can't stand the thought of not having it. This is something I am going to have trouble with. I've had a few of them today, as a matter of fact. But, right now, I am drinking a glass of water.

I went to a Valentine's Dinner tonight at church, which was catered and consisted of a lot of good food. But, I tried to keep my portions small, drank water, and even skipped the cake. They had lemon, which sounded and looked amazing!! I'll imagine it was :)  I came home and had a fat-free banana split flavored yogurt. Not quite the same, but still yummy.

I did day 2 of Week 6 in the Couch to 5k program and am pleased with my progress. Tomorrow, I will finish up the week and will be running with no walking breaks from here on out. I never thought I could do that. And, with the help and support of my coworkers, I am thinking about doing a 5k in March. Very excited about this. I am going to try to practice this running business outside soon though, because I am sure it feels differently than running on a treadmill. To be honest, I am afraid it's going to be much harder and I am afraid I can't do it. But I'm hoping it will turn out to be easier. I will let you know :)

Thanks for reading! :)
Jen

Sadness, happiness and a desire

Ok... Big news of the day... I ran for 20 minutes today with no walking in-between! I realize everyone else's big news of the day most likely involves the Super Bowl, but I was way more excited about the run : )
I completed week 5 of the Couch to 5K program today. I can't believe I have been at this for 5 weeks and haven't given up yet! It's a great feeling of accomplishment.

I am not as excited about the weight loss, or lack of weight loss this week. I weighed in on Monday, as usual, and I lost nothing, as I predicted. But... my clothes fit better and I do feel like there could be some muscle-building going on (I told you I would use this... :)  I weigh in tomorrow and I am hopeful, but not expectant, that I will lose something this time. Fingers crossed...

My eating habits have been better this week, other than a pretty fattening breakfast Saturday. My book club friends came over Saturday morning to discuss "Intervention" by Terri Blackstock and I wanted to make breakfast for the occasion. I have been having a hard enough time coming up with new ideas of yummy food that is healthful for myself, and couldn't take the pressure of doing it for company. So... I bought a pastry ring from Panera Bread, made a fruit tray, muffins, hashbrown casserole and mini quiches. I didn't eat excessively from the naughty choices, but ate a serving of everything. I also tried to make some good choices with the ingredients. For the casserole, I used low-fat sour cream and 2% cheese (thanks to advice from you guys). I couldn't tell a difference and it tasted great. 

I made a goal to drink more water and have done a little better, but have a long way to go. Maybe it's something you have to train yourself to do. It's not coming naturally to me, as Cherry Coke Zero tastes so much better... But I will keep trying. :)

I am happy to report that I am taking my thyroid medication regularly and it is becoming more of a habit that I don't have to think about. I should probably mention that I am also supposed to be taking cholesterol medication, but stopped it a long time ago. I would like to think I am managing it well through diet and exercise,  but that hasn't worked in the past. My overall cholesterol number goes down, but the sub-categories are all out of whack. Getting that checked out should probably be a new goal in the near future...

Also, I do feel renewed in my mission to be more helpful to and thoughtful of other people. I think dropping the word helped. Yay :)

So, I am ending this week with a minor sadness that I lost no pounds, a huge happiness that I have finished week 5 running (ok, really a mild jog, but a huge improvement for me) for 20 minutes, and a desire to do better this week. :)

Thanks for reading and for the support! I will update soon... But right now, I think I need another Cherry Coke Zero... :) 

Jen

Smaller pants, water and downsizing

Okay, I will start with good stuff... I lost 3 more pounds this week! Grand total of 9 pounds lost! Yay!! I successfully completed week three and have been working on week 4 of the Couch to 5K program this week! I had no idea I could run that much. I am super psyched about that. But, like all previous weeks, I am certain next week's assignment will have me on the floor of the guest bedroom (i.e. treadmill room, Jacob's room, etc.) having a stroke right in front of my Taylor Lautner posters (don't judge...) :) 

Food has gone pretty well this week. I had a couple of days where I ventured back to normal food like pizza, but tried really hard to not let the pizza win. I ate two tiny slices with a whole lot of salad (fat-free dressing, of course). :)  Overall, not too bad, but I am skeptical of what the scales will say tomorrow on weigh-in day. In preparation for disappointment, I am telling myself that all of this exercising has surely been building muscle, which weighs more than fat, so it makes perfect sense if I lose nothing. My size-smaller pants were worn successfully Saturday night and that couldn't have made me happier. I am one size away from my Goal #1 pair of jeans that are hanging as inspiration beside my treadmill.

I am still taking my thyroid medicine as instructed... yay me! I could definitely up my water-drinking though. I've slacked on that a little this week. I will make that my goal for this week. (Pop just tastes so delicious!)

Now for some less than stellar news... I am downsizing my words. I wanted to have two theme words for this year, rather than just one. I chose "health" and "others." I have decided that "others" is no longer an official word. At least not one I am going to blog about.

I did much better at thinking of others and helping them before I made it an official goal. After setting a goal with it, I started thinking of it in an entirely different way, wondering what people reading this blog would think of whatever it is I am announcing I have done. Would it be good enough, too show-offy, etc. All things that got in the way of me being helpful.

Another reason is it was uncomfortable to talk about things I did for other people. I felt very braggy and it took away from the real reason of why I wanted to do it to start with - to focus on others. Instead I was shifting the focus onto myself.

Now, don't get me wrong, I haven't given up my desire to help people. I think I will have a renewed commitment to do this now. I just won't be tooting my own horn about it :)

Thanks a million for reading!! I will post again soon...

Jen

Progress, confession and fat free cheese...

I'll start positively... : )  Progress- I weighed in on Monday (after two full weeks of eating healthier and exercising) and have lost a total of 6 pounds!! The total for week #2 was 4 1/2 pounds. Yay!! It is getting a little easer too. I am not wanting food as often as I have in the past. I have used food to solve a lot of my problems over the years (wow... It's like I jumped right into the confession portion of the blog... I'll go with it) If I'm happy, I like to eat. If I am sad, I need to eat. If I am bored, eating gets my attention. I have tried to be more alert when it comes to why I want food. Big step for me!

I'm not sure if this is a progress or a confession, but I have continued to take my thyroid medication daily, except for one day that I forgot it. Either way, much better.

I sucessfully began week #3 of the Couch to 5k program! Wednesday was Day 1 of Week 3 and it was rough. I had to run and walk, at times in 3-minute increments... I survived. Yay!

Oh, and I have, so far, successfully avoided a fabulous-looking box of chocolate-covered Krispy Kreme donuts. I ordered them at work from a fundraiser, with the intent of Shawn and Noah eating them, but there are still some left. I will admit I cut one-fourth of one off and gobbled it up, but it could have been so much worse. Way to go on self-control, right? :)

As for my other word... "others." I am still doing terribly at that. I haven't focused on that nearly as much as I need to and I need to do better. Finally, Noah and I decided we could buy a jump rope for Johnny, a kid we sponsor from World Vision, and send it to him. Some progress there, but I haven't written him yet or mailed the jump rope, so there is still work to do :) 

However, here is a big confession. We have sponsored Johnny for 3 years. We picked a kid with Noah's exact birthday, who also likes soccer and is an only child. Noah says he is his brother from Columbia. I had such grand plans of corresponding with Johnny every month, sending him little gifts and pictures and words of love. In three years, I am sad to say we have only done this about three times : (  We have prayed for Johnny twice a day since we got his name... once in the morning before school and once in the evening before bed. I must vow to do better... I feel bad.

On a completely different note... Fat-free cheese is terrible. Yuck.

Thanks for reading and I will update soon :)
Jen