birthday cake icing, the wagon, and sadness

Last Monday (3/28), I weighed in and it was bad, but not as bad as I expected. I gained 2 pounds. I had not been eating or exercising like I should have been. Or taking my thyroid medicine. So, really I'm glad it was just 2 pounds.

The rest of the week didn't get a whole lot better as far as my commitment. It was a crazy-busy week. I worked a couple of evenings last week, and then there was Noah's birthday party planning and cake-baking. The icing... Oh, the icing. I sampled way more than I should have, as of course it is much easier to lick it off my fingers than to wash my hands, right? And I had a piece of cake and ice cream at the party. Yum :) 

In the midst of all the busyness, I neglected my exercising the entire week. I was super scared that it was going to be the end. It seems the longer you put something off, the easier it is to put it off a little longer, until it seems impossible to get back to it. I was afraid I was off the wagon. Or is it on the wagon? Not sure, but I was afraid it was bad.

When I chose to do this blog, I knew there would be bad weeks. I committed to writing about the good stuff and the bad crumminess. I had full intentions. Then, in the midst of all the busyness and stress of last week, I didn't write. I can't help but feel that if it were going to be an exciting, braggy blog for the week, I would have felt more inspired. Slightly disappointed in myself about that...

But this week is a 2-for-1. Or maybe a 3-for-1, as there are some other things on my mind tonight in addition to my health, but we'll see how it goes.

I made a couple of goals for myself on the last blog - choosing new goal pants, setting a new goal and reward for myself, get my prescription filled and take my medicine regularly, and drink lots of water.
Here's how that went -

I did get my medicine filled and am back to taking it regularly. Yay! I have not chosen my new goal pants yet. I considered choosing a goal dress (I'm still super excited about the idea of being comfortable enough with myself to wear a cute dress this summer), but decided it was too subjective. It wouldn't be so much that I fit into the dress, but whether I thought it would look good enough, and I'm not that nice to myself. I don't know how long that could've taken... So I still need to choose the pants. Will do it by next week.

In addition, I will set a new goal and reward for myself. I failed to do that also. I want it to be something far enough away that I will have to work on it, but not so far that I can't see it happening. And the water... the water. I am not drinking water at all. :(  I hope to do better with that this week too. Wish me luck on that one. Cherry Coke Zero just tastes so much better!!!

Sunday night, I did get back into the swing of things in my exercising. Yay! It amazes me how God sends the right people with the right words to encourage me. I had several people over the weekend tell me how great it was that I had lost weight, (okay, they said it much nicer than it came out typed....haha), and that it was awesome that I was able to run a 5K. After hearing all the nice things, I couldn't let myself down and skip for even one more day. So I climbed on that treadmill, Ipod in place, and listened to a good podcast along with a few songs at the end. My goal for running was 41 minutes and 2 seconds, to match my 5K time. I did it!! Yay!

This brings me to this week's weigh-in. Monday morning (4/4/11) I weighed in losing the 2 pounds gained the previosu week, and losing an additional 2 pounds! A total of 4 pounds that week. This brings me to a grand total of .... Wait for it... Wait for it... 25 pounds!! yay!

I also ran again today, which felt great. I ran outside. The weather was beautiful, perfect actually. Blue skies, sun shining, birds chirping, breeze blowing :)  Thanks God :)  I ran a little over the 3.1 miles of a 5K and did it a little faster than I have in previous weeks. Success :)

I couldn't be happier about that. But tonight I am also sad. About something completely unrelated to my health, failures, or successes.

I got a call on the way to church from my friend Lori from work. She told me about a wreck that happened this afternoon, killing a high school senior. The reason she wanted to tell me was that it was a student I had interviewed earlier this year for a story.

At the time, I was interviewing some of the best students of the county, one from each school district. So I think I covered somewhere between 8 and 10 students in a short amount of time. When she first mentioned his name, I couldn't place him right off. But then I remembered him.

He was in the middle of gym class when I had stopped by the school to talk to him. I didn't spend a whole lot of time with him. Maybe 10 minutes. He was a great kid. Polite, smart, athletic. Perfect grades. I also remember him telling me how influential his church and his youth pastor was in his life. I came home and re-read the story I had written earlier this year. I saw that he had plans on going on a missions trip to Ecuador this summer. My heart is breaking for his family.

Of course my thoughts went to Noah, and the horror I would be feeling if it were him. I can't imagine what that student's parents must be going through.

After I got to church, I couldn't help but look around the room in our youth group at each of those kids and feel so much. I love those kids like they're my own. The idea that someday, it could be us getting a call that something has happened to one of them kept filling my mind. My heart was so heavy as I was thinking about each of them.

I worry because not all of them say they have a relationship with God. I want them to know Him the way He wants to know them. I've always wanted that for them, but now it just seems so much more urgent. Please pray for me, in lots of areas, but that I will do my best to encourage these kids and show God's love to them.

And pray that I can stay away from the Girl Scout cookies in my pantry...

Thanks for reading,
Jen

***Update - Ok, so I'm glad I didn't list the student's name, because he wasn't the one who died in the car accident. Lori texted me this morning to say that our source for that bit of information wasn't all that reliable and it was incorrect. It might have been his father who passed away, but I'm not positive about that either.

But either way, as sad as I was during the time I thought it was the student, it made me really think about a lot of things and put some things in perspective, and for that I am thankful.